Guerrillas and their myths

The pattern is familiar.

We have seen it many times over in the past few years.

There will be a piece of “research”. It will show how bad THE THING that happens is, when it happens.

There will be various voices proclaiming how big an issue THE THING is.

There will be a couple of newspaper articles, with the usual suspects involved, making clear their support for the banning of THE THING, without, of course, actually saying that.

Then a minister will pipe up. “Why have we allowed this to go on for so long?” they’ll cry.

The minister will then launch a “consultation”, or even appoint a “commission” to investigate and report back.

The report will be clear. “This THING, which we know is happening, because someone we know has seen it at least once, must stop, because it ruins the lives of working class children. We so recommend.”

The minister will speak again. “My independent commission has reported. This THING, which they have reported is happening, must stop. They have so recommended, to prevent the ruination of the lives of working class children. I will stop THE THING. Not because I want to, but because my commission has recommended that THE THING be stopped.”

What happens next will depend on how the ministers’ leadership (or other) campaign is going. It may be that A LAW is required to stop this thing happening.

And so A LAW will be passed to ensure that schools re-write a policy to include the exact wording as required by the Minister to stop THE THING, instead of their existing wording which has precisely the same effect.

This LAW will, of course, be lauded as another step along the way of freeing working class children from the yoke of “soft bigotry”. Anyone who argues against will be labeled a bigot, desirous only of keeping working class children in their place.

Along the way anyone who dares to suggest that the problem as stated doesn’t actually exist will be marked down as zealots, dismissible. “The very fact they deny that THE THING someone we know has seen happening is happening is proof they can’t be trusted with the future of working class children.”

It will pass into folklore how the Minister and their LAW saved the working class children from THE THING and prevented society from falling into chaos.

The guerrillas will, of course, be discarded along the way, in the name of progress, their natural habitat overrun by the politicians.

And this, children, is how myths are made.